|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I hate the strangest nightmare. I was in a huge southern house and
everyone was evacuating from a fire. This man came up to me and he was
hooking me to some kind of rescue thing, and he was in front of me
holding my arms, and he said, "My, you have got some big pipes!" And I
asked him what pipes are, and he said, "Well, they are bones." And I
said, "I do not!" He shrugged, said, "Sorry, but they are," and then abandoned me.
Ugh.
The worst part? In the nightmare, I was more afraid that someone called
me big than the fact that I was going to die in that fire if I didn't
get out.
| | |
| Elsa Hosk--She is very pretty; Swedish, of course!
Hana 
Xenia 
Olga 
Le   
Five miles this morning. Wanted to do more, but I'm restricting. The way I see it, I want to wake up tomorrow and be happy with how I did this weekend, and so far it has been great: no purging. I'm loving that. I'm avoiding trigger foods so that I don't say, "Oh, shit, I might as well mess up really badly because I already messed up..." No. Not gonna happen.
I feel overly lucky. Like, my family gives me so much. And I feel like I don't deserve it; I found myself punishing myself by over-exercising almost (tempted to, but didn't) because I felt like I didn't deserve it. But I'm working on realizing that that isn't true necessarily, that I am worthy of being loved. It's really, really hard to understand that. But I have to realize that I am worthy of being loved: and you guys are, too.
In the meantime, I feel pressured. To be as beautiful as possible, to be the best possible student, to just glow with awe when people see me, for how perfect I appear to be. And even though I know I will never be perfect, the closer I get, I feel like the better off I will be. And somehow, getting thinner makes me feel like I am headed more in the right direction, but how twisted is that logic?
Oh, the illogical logic of the disordered mind...
Screw that. Look at Marissa Cooper; she has so many problems, but she's gorgeous! You can get away with so much more when you are gorgeous <3
God, I'm lame. But I'm working on it :-p
| | |
| thank you for your sweet comments <3
i wish i had more time to reply but i am currently working double
shifts...i have to be on the d/l because how embarrassing would it be
if i go on your sites and my boss comes up and thinks i am looking at
pics of naked women, thinking i am ogling them, when it is really just
thinspiration!
ah! that would be so embarrassing, haha
when i get my computer hooked up again at home i will be sure to come by everyone's site.
<3
the clothes are getting looser but still i'm feeling bigger...
stay strong. be as loving to yourself as you possibly can; day two of
no purging; i am a hypocrite to say to be loving, but i really do try.
i know we are all special, all of us, we are strong to put up with this
shit  anyone ever wonder why this had to
happen to us? why not something else? it makes me wonder...i don't pity
myself but i wonder why this disorder was drawn to my life....or vise
versa....
<3 goodnight
| | |
| I will not 'purge' today. No
more of that. It's bad for your skin and your heart and it's just plain
gross; I would rather not eat it than throw it up.
I'm really glad my clothes are
getting looser; what do you guys say we make this weekend a really
strong one?! I hereby designate this weekend fit for accomplishing our
goals, even tiny ones, or simply avoiding the inevitable goal-slacking
that does sometimes occur during the weekends.
If you are on the anti-binge
wagon, join here  Pledge your allegiance :) I am such a weirdo. But
seriously, let's stay strong...just picture waking up Monday morning
knowing you are so much better than you were Friday, even though you
were and are fabulous on Friday, each and every one of you 
Love, me.
| | |
|
